Food

when i make a sandwich i always end up leaving the kitchen with half my sandwich already eaten! i cant help it... i need to make a sandwich for when im making sandwiches!... i also wish there were cubed tomatoes... almost like a tomato loaf... it would make the whole process more efficient, i always have huge gaps in my tomato sandwich paving!

when did bottled water become the water of choice at the restaurant? "would you like some water? still or sparkling?" WTF!!! "would you like me to pay this bill with money... real or monopoly?"

i think staining your clothes is food's last 'Fuck You' before they go! going down fighting! "got a pretty hostile club sandwich here chief!" I HATE IT WHEN MY T-SHIRT GETS STAINED!!!
i think that terrorists shouldn't fill their bombs with nails and shit but with oil and paint, i think it would get the message across much clearer!
"and in the news... what we believe to be to be a stain bomb went off in downtown in the middle of a wedding reception... there was oil and paint everywhere... 19 got their pants stained, the bride got her brand new dress stained, some even got there underwear stained... THEIR UNDERWEAR!... "
people would be like who could be do something like this?... they even stain innocent women and children! which group is responsible for this what is their cause... make them stop!

WANK!!!