Headphones

Make sure your headphones are visible... people assume the worst!

Having head phones on makes you feel so detached from the world and everyone... which i love... however you never know how loud your burps and farts are... you dont know which category it was in...1)no one know anything, 2)no one heard but all know its you, 3)heard but it was so soft that you laugh it off , or 4)just rude and disgusting!... so there you are doing fart detective work on the spot... gauging the extent of the damage... you have to come up with a diagnosis soon or you just have to go for the full apology and cover all the scenarios! but it sucks doing a full apology and you only done a 1)!

i hate singing along to rap... cause i always remember weird parts of the song and to people im sitting next to it sounds like im a violent rain man! "Gun in the mouth/ rape/ child abuse/shoot em up/ murder!"


wank (whisper)

The Police

as a black young individual in South Africa, you get into a lot of run ins with the police. The other day i was racially profiled by a police officer... a police officer came over to me and asked whether i liked chicken... i was like FUCK YOU MAN... JUST BECAUSE IM BLACK DOESNT MEAN I LIKE CHICKEN!...

they always asking you questions like where you goimg, where coming from, who were you with... "why do you sound as though you want to go hang with me?


When police officers have harrassed you or whatver they claim that they had to do it because they are 3 armed suspects in the area... "DONT TELL ME THAT, IM STILL ON MY WAY HOME!... GIVE A LIFT?"

Everytime i see a blue flashing light i get a little nervous... I cant even enjoy a christmas light display anymore... Having said all this... if shit goes down the first number im calling is 10111!

WANK!

Grocery Shopping

Grocery shopping is always a weird experience for me. i always feel like the store is way too big... what are other people buying that i don't know about? why is there an entire aisle dedicated to pet food... a WHOLE aisle? HOW FUSSY CAN A DOG BE? iv seen a dog eat its own shit! i doubt it cares whether or not the the food has chicken gravy or beef chunks!...

i don't know how good a special really is... especially if you don't buy it often... "R7.99 a KG... how much is a KG? how much do i eat usually... is this a huge bargain? should i be loading a lot of these?... i don't know what a good butternut looks like... i know there are good and bad ones but i don't know the difference, i just feel around until people around me think that i know what I'm doing!

why do people leave their trolleys in the middle of the aisle... this is not your kitchen lady! there people around you trying to live... i wish there was a grocery police escort... "MOVE OUT OF THE WAY... WE TRYING TO GET TO THE HOT CROSS BUNS!"

i don't think eating in the store should be allowed... how hungry could you be? i did not really mind before but it seems people go for the messy foods and still carry on shopping, i don't appreciate it when my peaches taste like Pepper Steak Pies!!!

Wank!

Smoking

smoking is weird... its assumed that new smokers know what they doing... i think they freaking out! "THERS A FLAME REALLY CLOSE TO MY FACE... the margin for error is very small here... CAN I GET SOME GUIDANCE!..." but we all look down on them for a starting a habit that could kill them...

...yeah! smoking might kill me but do you know how many times it's saved my life? the government get millions from taxing smokers... "you enjoying the road or library?... pleasure!"

why is it that you cant have a beer without a smoke... it's as if Molboro is Castle's jealous ex and can never let you hang out with Castle alone "What you guys up to?!"

burning someone with your smoke is always awkward... no matter whose fault it was, the smoker is always is the douche bag... have you ever burnt someone and pretended that nothing happen... the trick is wiping the ash off them without them noticing (however, dont blame me if you've got a hole in your clothes.. it happens to me too)!!

Wank!