I’m a Twitter addict. Its taking over my life, more the antisocial addiction and less the selling my phone and performing oral sex at public toilets kind… it’s a bad one none the less! Twitter has wasted so much of my time; it’s like talking to the promo chick or bar lady, lot of conversation but nothing is going to materialize. You just be left with information blue balls.Twitter enables anyone to voice their opinion for EVERYONE (well just your followers and maybe their followers) to see; your own miniature publication. You can find anything from sport updates, Obama quotes, hilarious trending topics (which usually morphs into racist banter) and Khanyi Mbau’s vagina. The problem with letting everyone voice their opinions is that… most people are assholes (me included). If you’re a douche bag in real life, you are probably one on Twitter. If you are cool in real life you still could be a douche online; the numbers are stacked against you not following a douche. This is my list of Twitter douches I try to avoid, this list varies with everyone. My douche list will not be the same as you; I’m probably on many people’s douche lists. If you have a private account… you are a douche. Why are you hiding your tweets? If you want to conceal your tweets so badly, don’t put them on the INTERNET. If I want to follow you, I have to REQUEST to follow you… nothing makes you feel like more of a groupie than REQUESTING someone you don’t know, to read their internet conversation wanks. ‘May I please, please? PLEASE follow you on Twitter
.’ Stop it you are a douche!On the opposite end of the sphere are people who use their Twitter Timeline as a chat room. Stop it. You being a douche! DM or get some airtime and sort your shit out on the side. If you are correcting my grammar on Twitter, you are a douche! Fine I’m ‘uneducated’ but so are ‘LOL’, ‘ROTFL’ and ‘GTFOFH.’ If you are tweeting smiley faces, you have no business complaining about grammar. I think once you start ‘drawing’ you’ve lost the argument.If you constantly are tweeting how great a party is; you are a douche. If you having ‘THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE!’ then you should not be on the phone all night! ‘WISH YOU WERE HERE!’ So you can ignore me? Stop it you are a douche!If you are Retweeting EVERY quote about relationships, astrology, and lame life lessons, you are a douche. We have no idea who is giving this advice, it could literally be a semi naked guy, eating cereal at 3pm on his wankstained couch (the guy you wouldn’t usually take advice from, hopefully.)Make your douche list and start following the people who aren’t douches. Unfollow the people who are douches because if you don’t use the Unfollow button then you are a douche!
I’m a Twitter addict. Its taking over my life, more the antisocial addiction and less the selling my phone and performing oral sex at public toilets kind… it’s a bad one none the less! Twitter has wasted so much of my time; it’s like talking to the promo chick or bar lady, lot of conversation but nothing is going to materialize. You just be left with information blue balls.Twitter enables anyone to voice their opinion for EVERYONE (well just your followers and maybe their followers) to see; your own miniature publication. You can find anything from sport updates, Obama quotes, hilarious trending topics (which usually morphs into racist banter) and Khanyi Mbau’s vagina. The problem with letting everyone voice their opinions is that… most people are assholes (me included). If you’re a douche bag in real life, you are probably one on Twitter. If you are cool in real life you still could be a douche online; the numbers are stacked against you not following a douche. This is my list of Twitter douches I try to avoid, this list varies with everyone. My douche list will not be the same as you; I’m probably on many people’s douche lists. If you have a private account… you are a douche. Why are you hiding your tweets? If you want to conceal your tweets so badly, don’t put them on the INTERNET. If I want to follow you, I have to REQUEST to follow you… nothing makes you feel like more of a groupie than REQUESTING someone you don’t know, to read their internet conversation wanks. ‘May I please, please? PLEASE follow you on Twitter
.’ Stop it you are a douche!On the opposite end of the sphere are people who use their Twitter Timeline as a chat room. Stop it. You being a douche! DM or get some airtime and sort your shit out on the side. If you are correcting my grammar on Twitter, you are a douche! Fine I’m ‘uneducated’ but so are ‘LOL’, ‘ROTFL’ and ‘GTFOFH.’ If you are tweeting smiley faces, you have no business complaining about grammar. I think once you start ‘drawing’ you’ve lost the argument.If you constantly are tweeting how great a party is; you are a douche. If you having ‘THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE!’ then you should not be on the phone all night! ‘WISH YOU WERE HERE!’ So you can ignore me? Stop it you are a douche!If you are Retweeting EVERY quote about relationships, astrology, and lame life lessons, you are a douche. We have no idea who is giving this advice, it could literally be a semi naked guy, eating cereal at 3pm on his wankstained couch (the guy you wouldn’t usually take advice from, hopefully.)Make your douche list and start following the people who aren’t douches. Unfollow the people who are douches because if you don’t use the Unfollow button then you are a douche! 
